Monday, August 14, 2006

Summer has come and passed

The innocence can never last.
Ah..gone are those days of sun shinin' thru the autumn leaves
gone are those days of simple warmth n happiness.
the rain's comin in, and clouds gathering again.
Gloominess fills the air of London. (especially with the terrorist bomb scares)
No longer are there hordes of British gathered outside pubs, grabbing a pint or two.
No longer are the sized16 brits dorned in bright red tube dresses flippin-flopping out to the park.
I peep outside the misty window, water droplets fall from withering pinetrees,
As how the summer has come and passed,
the jubilee that summer in this foreign land has brought - slowly creeps away..

London has treated me well,
definitely better than I could expect.
Winter, Spring, Summer - I've seen all facets of London, and Europe.
Travelling has always been the top on my list
it would be no 1 on my 'Things to do before I die' list.
(inspired by my spanish class haha)

What sparked that travel bug in me?
I recall those days of pondering over how life over at the other end of the world will be like.
how independent will this make me?
I wanted to see the world for myself, to live life as it comes my way
I was never that sociable, I didnt think of making many frens
I just wanted to fill that void in my emptiness and I wanted most of all, a change.

Days before my departure to the great unknown
was filled with 'I will miss you', 'I don't wanna leave u guys' with my closest frens, then.
I remember a night at Waterbar, this gay joint we frequented at that time.
Wonder what sparked that emotions, but I cried n cried on Jolene's small-but-warm lil shoulder.
She was my closest fren, ever, we talked, laughed n saw each other everyday.
I did not want things to change, all of a sudden.
Then, it was my farewell nite at Zouk,
when Ashley (high on alcohol) hugged me n said
'I'm gonna miss you really Nellie, we'll always be best frens.'
We were all 19 then, still innocently juvenile but our friendship was real.
Nobody could replace them in my heart.

Years came and passed - partied, had fun, travelled, made lotsa eternal frens.
I kept in touch with all of them,
updating them with every single thing that went on
but when I returned,
it was never the same, part of me was 'cos I changed, alot.
but everyone changes, it's just how you keep up with each other's changes i guess.
Nothing was how it used to be.
I lost my closest fren. We all still are frens, but the bond's not there anymore..
Till this day, I wonder how it would be like if I had not gone away..

Then came London.
the 2 years before this trip, was misery.
I didnt felt at home anymore, I just wanted to get out n lead a new life.
the distance I felt from my closest frens didnt help at all.
Disparity, loneliness, loss of direction, I couldn't help but sink lower.
My head cleared up when I refound old frenships with old pals here and there.

Bing became my closest fren who was always there to slap me outta disillusions
or to drown our sorrows in alcohol, n indulge in vices just to feel that numbness.
She was someone I could talk to, n listen for advices.
We've always been close since college days,
but perhaps my new found angst with the world coincided with hers,
that's how we developed that close bond.
She was always there for me.
Once again, before leaving for London,
I wished things could stay the same, again.
Everything was picking up, my job was exciting,
had some good frens from work, life was going well..but it was time to leave again.

Here I am, in London. Living the life that I chose.
Bing came to visit me,
but (surprise surprise) Nothing was the same again.
Nothing could have been worst
we anticipated so much,
I looked forward to having our heart-to-heart talks again.
but it was just different,
maybe our partners were here with us..
Both of us have changed.
Both of us have moved on with our own lives.
I really do not want to lose this fren again,
but sometimes, things are not always within your grasp.
I used to like pouring my soul out, talking abt our emotions
but maybe I haven't found frens here that I could talk to, baring my true self,
that's how I lost touch of it.

Anyhow, travelling or perhaps, being away from home
has taken a toll on my life.
I've lost friends who've been most important part of my life.
I'm just glad I have Alberto here with me
flying half-way round the world to be with him, hasn't been easy
but we'r treasuring every moment of it.
I'm relieved my family is still the same, and everything feels still the same with my parents
that's most impt in life, isnt it?

Travelling comes with a price,
a high price to pay, don't you think?

2 Comments:

Blogger Bing said...

no matter what, ur frens will always be here for u....including me. maybe sometimes we forget, sometimes lif catches up with us. but at the end of the day, frens will always be ur frens =) high price or not....who knows, maybe u wun know the answer until u're a 100 yrs old! (^___^)

check ur email!~~

12:57 AM, August 17, 2006  
Blogger Ashley said...

Yup, i agree with bing, ur friends will always be here, regardless of the distant. Our friendship has been through so much, what's one more hurdle right? I'm startin my new job next wk and i cant wait! will update u soon. take care!

10:49 AM, August 18, 2006  

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